So here it is, almost 2am on Tuesday morning. The alarm will go off at 7am to get the kiddo ready for school. I will be dead tomorrow. What is keeping me up you may ask? Well, I haven't been sleeping great lately anyway. Worry about my new business, a lazy sleep schedule from being off work for over a year, and not eating right are contributors. Tonight, though, there's something more.
I know everyone has things in life that they think back on and wonder if they did the right thing or the wrong thing. I would think that once in a while, everyone has a moment where they remember something dumb they did or said that caused unintended consequences such as straining a relationship or even completely destroying one. Well, sometimes I feel that I have an overactive conscience. I try really hard to be a nice person. To be a good person. But I can remember things going back to high school, and in one particular incident, before, that weigh on my mind. Yes, I know that I should let these things go, but I know that I have hurt people, and in turn friendships...in a few cases even destroyed them. All because of a lack of control over my mouth. In the case of the pre-high-school one, a lack of control coupled with a somewhat charismatic friend.
Some people I know for sure that I said something stupid and hurt them and possibly ruined a friendship. Worse (at least I think so), there are things I remember saying in which I think MAY have hurt someone...but I'll likely always wonder if that thing that I said or did really did hurt them or if I am just feeling guilty.
Maybe I can sleep now 2 hours later...
The two men in my life...
From Halloween...N gave up on the costume early!
