Life has a Funny way of Happening

Today I am in a funk. Why? I have been on a roller-coaster ride of emotions for the past 6 years or so, so it's not an entirely unfamiliar feeling, but one that I can never seem to get my head around.

It started out when I found out I was prego and had an uncertain future with my significant other. That resolved itself...mostly...but then post-partum set in and all the minor brushes with depression I had experienced over the course of my life suddenly came to the forefront of my awareness in full living color. Then everything that I had come to count on in life seemed to be much more uncertain. And I no longer was the relatively happy person that a lot of friends considered, "just a really nice person". I made some pretty stupid mistakes in life (who hasn't?) some of which were relatively minor school age antics that I now look back on and cringe but I also realize did no lasting damage to anyone but maybe myself (sorry Anna). Others of which continue to haunt me to this day...and not in a figurative "in-my-painful-memories" sense but in a "still-affecting-my-current-existence" kind of way. However, that is all fodder for another post...maybe.

It all leads me here, wondering why I am in this funk. The gist doesn't change much. The seemingly unrelated content of the previous paragraph plays a HUGE part in it. I guess today, what got me going was thinking about friends past, present, and of course future. I signed up for facebook and as I mentioned in a previous post, found people I haven't talked to in years...people from high school and amazingly many from even before that. I lived back east for my pre-teens and early teens. I had some great friends that I had to leave when I moved back to CA. Some of which I kept in touch with, but many I didn't. Same with High School, Junior College, etc. That's all pretty normal...I know few people that didn't lose touch at one time or another with someone that they wish they hadn't.